dear mr weather man,
thank you so much for not warning me last week when i was trading in my suv/4 wheel drive vehicle for a family sedan (still hoping i might need one someday). i mean who would think i'd be needing a 4 wheel drive in the middle of april? not i. but as luck would have it mr weatherman (aka tom sherry), it in fact did snow several inches on my new ride. its fine, no dont worry about it. i mean i love waking up early on a beautiful spring morning, walking down to my snow piled car and pretending my arms are giant wind shield wipers and pretty much snow plowing that white garbage right onto the ground. apparently mr weather man you didn't get my birthday wishes.... a rich hot man, and no snow. wait now i'm afraid, was april 12th opposite day??? does this mean if i get a man he'll be poor and ugly???? wow good thing i didn't wish for bigger boobs, can you imagine the horror!! mr weather man if you love me at all you'll stop all this snow nonsense and bring out my 3rd best friend... the sun, so that i can roll down my windows and sing "all the single ladies" at the top of my lungs while cruising down university looking for guys with fake tans and popped collars. if you make all my wishes come true then i promise that next winter i'll have a much better attitude and will no longer use swear words as the adjectives used to describe my feelings about snow. thank you for your time mr weatherman, i hope we can be friends again soon. please tell mr sun that i say hello, and that i've missed him dearly!!
president of the sun lover fan club